What is really Work\/Life balance?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I started my career, I thought it was very simple: respect working hours, don\u2019t answer calls or messages outside of these hours, don\u2019t think about work, and don\u2019t do anything work-related during my personal time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It took me many years to realise that not everything was truly black and white. This is what I\u2019ve learnt over the years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Making a clear distinction between working and personal hours has been a struggle for many people, and since remote working became common a few years ago, the problem has only worsened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I believe that it is crucial to respect working hours. It\u2019s so easy to stay a bit longer to squeeze in one more task\u2014a last message or another attempt at that code that refuses to work. That adds up, and even if the plan was to spend two minutes, it\u2019s usually 30 minutes or more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Personally, I find it much harder when my daily routine is interrupted. For example, if I spend one hour at a doctor\u2019s appointment during working hours, I will make that up in the afternoon. Somehow, my tendency is to overcompensate with something like two hours instead. It takes effort to be mindful of this and know when to stop, but it\u2019s worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Writing software is a marathon, not a sprint. We need to use our energy wisely, and working extra hours every day is not sustainable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That said, there are exceptions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I work with people in other time zones, sometimes the best way to unblock progress is to stay a bit longer to chat with the other person. Occasionally, I\u2019ve joined a meeting late in the afternoon to coordinate something urgent. As long as these situations are rare, I\u2019m fine with them, as they save time overall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another reason to work beyond regular hours is during a production incident. It\u2019s in everyone\u2019s best interest to resolve issues as quickly as possible, and if I can help, that\u2019s a valuable use of my time. However, production incidents should be infrequent; if they happen often, something is seriously wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Finally, there\u2019s the end of a project. As I mentioned earlier, projects are marathons, not sprints. But in every race, you give a little extra at the end to cross the finish line, and I think software projects follow the same pattern. Just to clarify, I don\u2019t plan to stay late at the end of a project\u2014I don\u2019t think that\u2019s right. I aim to leave early most days, but if a few extra hours at the end of a project will make the difference between shipping on time or not, I\u2019m willing to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Overall, the rule should be to leave on time, while being mindful of the exceptional cases that require flexibility from us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It took me many years to realise how much it affected me to read work messages outside of working hours. The good news is that I finally understood (see what I did there? :P), and I don\u2019t do that anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I seldom share my phone number with colleagues, and when I do, I make it very clear when it\u2019s appropriate to call me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As for messaging apps, I don\u2019t have any work-related ones on my phone. Slack is long gone, and I don\u2019t configure my work email on my phone either. If people need to contact me, they will have to wait until the next working day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What if there\u2019s an incident? I configure the paging system to allow important notifications to reach me, so if it\u2019s critical, I can be contacted by text message or a call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What if you\u2019re on the go and need to send some messages? If it\u2019s that important, shouldn’t you have stayed? And if you can\u2019t stay, can\u2019t the message really wait a few hours?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This expectation that people should be reachable at any time arose with mobile phones. The assumption that you must reply immediately just because you have a phone is, in my view, flawed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This applies to both professional and personal contexts. If you\u2019re working, yes, you should be reachable. But if you\u2019ve informed your team you\u2019re at the doctor\u2019s, you are at the doctor. If you are doing school pickup, do school pickup. Trust me, nobody will die if you can’t answer a message straight away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can you turn off your brain at will and stop thinking about things? I am no expert, but in my opinion, this is somewhat possible, although not entirely. There are a few meditation techniques that help clear the mind, and those who practice it (I’m not one of them) claim that it works, and I tend to believe them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes I\u2019ve been working on tough problems, and although I\u2019m not actively thinking about work, the answer to the problem occasionally pops into my brain. It\u2019s like having a lightweight background process doing the thinking. I don\u2019t know if we can stop that, but so far, it hasn\u2019t been an issue for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my opinion, it becomes a problem when we\u2019re actively thinking about work instead of focusing on other things. Are you fully spending time with your kids? Are you truly watching that movie? Are you genuinely listening to your partner? Are you thinking about work?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few times, I\u2019ve chosen to spend time on a problem because it\u2019s so interesting that I\u2019m genuinely having fun trying to solve it. I consider this a grey area. As long as this is rare, it\u2019s probably fine, but be careful not to make it an unhealthy habit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Try to find other activities that you enjoy just as much. There are many hobbies and pursuits out there, and some are also intellectually stimulating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you feel this is becoming an issue, I recommend practising meditation techniques that I mentioned before. If the problem is more serious, consider seeking professional advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just like thinking about work, I suggest avoiding any work during personal time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That said, it depends on what you\u2019re calling work. Let\u2019s consider these scenarios:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although all these activities are directly applicable to your job, I don\u2019t classify them as work. If you leave the company, the knowledge you\u2019ve gained stays with you. These are about self-growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For good or bad, software development is a profession that requires continuous learning. New technologies and techniques emerge every year, and if we don\u2019t keep learning, we fall behind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I believe employers should ensure employees have time to learn new things because it benefits the company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it\u2019s also in your best interest. So, will you avoid learning because you\u2019re not given the time you think you deserve, or will you take control and invest in becoming the best version of yourself? The decision is yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you can have a room dedicated solely to work and avoid entering it except to work, that\u2019s ideal. However, if you\u2019re like me and can\u2019t afford that luxury, there are alternatives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One thing that has significantly helped me is having my own personal laptop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I enjoy technology, and even when I\u2019m not working, I\u2019m often doing something tech-related\u2014whether it\u2019s coding personal projects or writing an article for my blog. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In many companies, you\u2019re allowed to use your work laptop for personal tasks, so buying a separate device initially seems unnecessary. But eventually, I realised how valuable this separation is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I finally decided to get my own laptop I could immediately notice the difference. As I mentioned earlier, I had already suppressed work messages on my phone, but when I was at the laptop I was unable to resist the temptation to check for new messages, and reply to them. I was oblivious of the negative effect that this had on me, until I go the new devise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, when I finish work, I shut down my work laptop. I don\u2019t receive Slack or email notifications, and when I\u2019m using my personal laptop, I\u2019m not even tempted to check work messages because those apps aren\u2019t configured. Once I decide to call it a day, I\u2019m fully and completely disconnected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This advise comes from personal experience. I enjoy of a more balanced life now, and I have more time to spend in whatever I want. This has helped me grow professionally, as I have more energy and time to spend in learning key new skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe some of this advise may not work for you, but I strongly encourage you to really try them. If you do, please share your experience!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cheers!
JM<\/p>\n\n\n\n